Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Obsessions
Sharing mine worst nightmare. Obsessions from the same sex.
We got to know each other from a bunch of friends. We have hardly known each other until few months back. We got quite closed but never foreseen that this could happen.
At first we got along just fine. We would meet up after work almost daily because it happened that I took it sort of de-stressing and part of socializing. At times, we all have to have zest for life, right ?? ..... after all the work stresses, if you can imagine. We also met up on weekends but that did not mean anything to me. I just took it as it was just a normal friendship and chilled out on relaxing weekends. Of course, I did not think anything more nor further than that. Come on, we are just the same sex. What do you think ??
Well, it has been going on for about few months before things got me really frustrated. Supposed, I was "shaken up" by some very closed one to me and I was asked why mine phone calls were slacking meaning that I hardly called. This statement which then made me sat up and thought through, what was the real reason behind all these slacking of phone calls ??? I then realized that I was spending too much time with her, so I was tired by the time I got home pretty late at night.
Thank GOD !! guess some of us are lucky that we were born with these womenly instincts in us, so I have to use it to safeguard myself, of course. Then, I talked to few friends regards to mine instinct and her actions, their advise to me was to get out of it before anything bad or worst happened. When I got that instinct, all I can say here is that she was out of her mind or "abnormal thinking", whatever and that I ended the "goddamn friendship." Mind mine language used here but it really got into my nerves.
Well, talking about her actions here. To be very honest, I still get that "turning and churning" in mine stomach each time mine mind strays to the incident. It was a real nightmare for me !!! Just imagine, her urging and never endless phone calls and smses, not once but at least 4 to 5 times daily even on weekends. What do you call this, then, if it is not OBSESSIONS ?? The feeling that I felt in me was not only obsessions but mixture of controlling, possessiveness and dominating. You name it and she has all that factors of scaring you off !! These actions of hers were really bad enough to make me run. Of course, I ran for my life.
She got to be kidding if she regards me as her WHAT ?? - so-called "better half, the other half or even partner." I definitely couldn't figure out who was "the he" nor "the she." What I do know was and is that I am 100% woman and a STRAIGHT ONE at that !!! Besides, I did not even have anything to offer her so I really did not know what I got to attract her to that point.
At times I am still wondering what was wrong with her ?? Whether, she felt lonely, bored, lack of attention from men or what ?? I have heard enough stories of women turn to this, could partly because that they hate men and so on and so forth. I do not know how true is true but I pray that I do not have to get myself messed up with these type of people again. Oh God, just join a club or cupid-club on the web !!! What is the problem ???
Well, all these questions above were left unanswered and to me, they are no longer important. Better to be safe than sorry, as mine friends have said !!! Things could have gotten worst if I stayed on in the "friendship."
Oh yes, upon our so-called "broke-up", she messaged me, told me how she cried and treasured the "friendship" and all those craps. The messages sounded more like "lovers broke-up" than the normal thing of just friendship. Immediately, without further thinking, I just deleted all the messages and her contact details. Since that fateful months and days, I have just dissappeared myself from her. She has also not contacted me since then. Oh My GOD, what a messed up life she is living with her kid ?? What a sad thing !!!
My end note here is that why women will have to act like men and vice-versa ?? Was it the act of GOD ?? Was it something got to do with individual mindset ?? Wondering whether these individuals were born to be ??? Whatever it is, firstly I am not bias to homeosexuals, gays and etc. Secondly, we can be friends but do not cross the line between women and men because I believe some women like me are unable to accept that kind of acts. Last but not least, hopefully we are all able to learn something from here.
We got to know each other from a bunch of friends. We have hardly known each other until few months back. We got quite closed but never foreseen that this could happen.
At first we got along just fine. We would meet up after work almost daily because it happened that I took it sort of de-stressing and part of socializing. At times, we all have to have zest for life, right ?? ..... after all the work stresses, if you can imagine. We also met up on weekends but that did not mean anything to me. I just took it as it was just a normal friendship and chilled out on relaxing weekends. Of course, I did not think anything more nor further than that. Come on, we are just the same sex. What do you think ??
Well, it has been going on for about few months before things got me really frustrated. Supposed, I was "shaken up" by some very closed one to me and I was asked why mine phone calls were slacking meaning that I hardly called. This statement which then made me sat up and thought through, what was the real reason behind all these slacking of phone calls ??? I then realized that I was spending too much time with her, so I was tired by the time I got home pretty late at night.
Thank GOD !! guess some of us are lucky that we were born with these womenly instincts in us, so I have to use it to safeguard myself, of course. Then, I talked to few friends regards to mine instinct and her actions, their advise to me was to get out of it before anything bad or worst happened. When I got that instinct, all I can say here is that she was out of her mind or "abnormal thinking", whatever and that I ended the "goddamn friendship." Mind mine language used here but it really got into my nerves.
Well, talking about her actions here. To be very honest, I still get that "turning and churning" in mine stomach each time mine mind strays to the incident. It was a real nightmare for me !!! Just imagine, her urging and never endless phone calls and smses, not once but at least 4 to 5 times daily even on weekends. What do you call this, then, if it is not OBSESSIONS ?? The feeling that I felt in me was not only obsessions but mixture of controlling, possessiveness and dominating. You name it and she has all that factors of scaring you off !! These actions of hers were really bad enough to make me run. Of course, I ran for my life.
She got to be kidding if she regards me as her WHAT ?? - so-called "better half, the other half or even partner." I definitely couldn't figure out who was "the he" nor "the she." What I do know was and is that I am 100% woman and a STRAIGHT ONE at that !!! Besides, I did not even have anything to offer her so I really did not know what I got to attract her to that point.
At times I am still wondering what was wrong with her ?? Whether, she felt lonely, bored, lack of attention from men or what ?? I have heard enough stories of women turn to this, could partly because that they hate men and so on and so forth. I do not know how true is true but I pray that I do not have to get myself messed up with these type of people again. Oh God, just join a club or cupid-club on the web !!! What is the problem ???
Well, all these questions above were left unanswered and to me, they are no longer important. Better to be safe than sorry, as mine friends have said !!! Things could have gotten worst if I stayed on in the "friendship."
Oh yes, upon our so-called "broke-up", she messaged me, told me how she cried and treasured the "friendship" and all those craps. The messages sounded more like "lovers broke-up" than the normal thing of just friendship. Immediately, without further thinking, I just deleted all the messages and her contact details. Since that fateful months and days, I have just dissappeared myself from her. She has also not contacted me since then. Oh My GOD, what a messed up life she is living with her kid ?? What a sad thing !!!
My end note here is that why women will have to act like men and vice-versa ?? Was it the act of GOD ?? Was it something got to do with individual mindset ?? Wondering whether these individuals were born to be ??? Whatever it is, firstly I am not bias to homeosexuals, gays and etc. Secondly, we can be friends but do not cross the line between women and men because I believe some women like me are unable to accept that kind of acts. Last but not least, hopefully we are all able to learn something from here.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Coping with Life Unexpected Situations
We have read so much of everyday living especially in the current situations such as recessions, inflations and any words that you can think of. Even on televisions nowadays, we are frequently reminded of the "jimat" campaign. Is like you have to "jimat" everything. Even to the extent, we are encouraged to plant our own vegetables in our backyard if possible. Well, it is high time for us to change with the current situations.
In fact, we could have changed long even before the recessions and inflations arise. Human beings being human beings, we tend to take lives and things in our surroundings for granted. Well, I believe regardless of any situations that we are going through, there is one thing that most of us are unable to cope is without a job. We always thought that if we work hard, our bosses will not sack us or we are in the "bosses good books" and so on and so forth. Our bosses then gives us hope but have you realised that most of the time, it never happens. Everyone agree ?
Myself personally has experienced twice or thrice going without jobs but thinking about those moments that how I have gone through never once crossed my mind that I actually has to prepare myself for the unexpected.
Lately, I am still facing the same situation that I might anytime loose my current job and yet I do not even have a second job waiting nor a part-time job. Yes, in fact I am worrying everyday. If you are able to think of the better word to describe, maybe it is "stupid" that I never learnt my lessons well enough to make me preparing myself for the unexpected. So, as usual, penning down my resumes and application letters. Then, again my friends told me the best time to apply for jobs will be after Chinese New Year. So, here I am dragging my time until GOD knows what next.
I met up with a friend just over the weekend. We discussed about her problems and the solutions to her problems. Well, it never cease that we are all facing the same problems, none other than financial. She asked whether will it be a good idea getting a part-time job. I definitely told her that she has to with this unexpected situatons, one can never be too sure if one still has a job tomorrow.
Even my colleague told me that soon there will be companies opting for VSS. It definitely will not be a surprise with this situations. Well, just face it that it is now worldwide situations, not only in Malaysia. Anyone can goes without jobs nor food. We are just praying that it does not happen to us. Besides, remember that bosses are no longer having the kind of gratitude attitude and worse is that they will take this opportunity to terminate, sacking and firing and do any way that they can get rid of you without paying. When the time comes that you have to leave the company, you just have to leave. No more reconsiderations. It is always expected of us to accept and move on. Is this the way that it should be ??
What I can say here is no matter in whatever situations that we are facing, whether it is good time nor bad time, we all have to have a second job in hand even we are still working to support us just in case that we loose our current job.
The saying goes without "ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR THE WORSE."
In fact, we could have changed long even before the recessions and inflations arise. Human beings being human beings, we tend to take lives and things in our surroundings for granted. Well, I believe regardless of any situations that we are going through, there is one thing that most of us are unable to cope is without a job. We always thought that if we work hard, our bosses will not sack us or we are in the "bosses good books" and so on and so forth. Our bosses then gives us hope but have you realised that most of the time, it never happens. Everyone agree ?
Myself personally has experienced twice or thrice going without jobs but thinking about those moments that how I have gone through never once crossed my mind that I actually has to prepare myself for the unexpected.
Lately, I am still facing the same situation that I might anytime loose my current job and yet I do not even have a second job waiting nor a part-time job. Yes, in fact I am worrying everyday. If you are able to think of the better word to describe, maybe it is "stupid" that I never learnt my lessons well enough to make me preparing myself for the unexpected. So, as usual, penning down my resumes and application letters. Then, again my friends told me the best time to apply for jobs will be after Chinese New Year. So, here I am dragging my time until GOD knows what next.
I met up with a friend just over the weekend. We discussed about her problems and the solutions to her problems. Well, it never cease that we are all facing the same problems, none other than financial. She asked whether will it be a good idea getting a part-time job. I definitely told her that she has to with this unexpected situatons, one can never be too sure if one still has a job tomorrow.
Even my colleague told me that soon there will be companies opting for VSS. It definitely will not be a surprise with this situations. Well, just face it that it is now worldwide situations, not only in Malaysia. Anyone can goes without jobs nor food. We are just praying that it does not happen to us. Besides, remember that bosses are no longer having the kind of gratitude attitude and worse is that they will take this opportunity to terminate, sacking and firing and do any way that they can get rid of you without paying. When the time comes that you have to leave the company, you just have to leave. No more reconsiderations. It is always expected of us to accept and move on. Is this the way that it should be ??
What I can say here is no matter in whatever situations that we are facing, whether it is good time nor bad time, we all have to have a second job in hand even we are still working to support us just in case that we loose our current job.
The saying goes without "ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR THE WORSE."
Friday, November 14, 2008
Bad Social Etiquettes
I have just encountered a pretty bad experience within the group of "so-called friends." My feelings towards this "so-called friendships", well is nothing more than "rubbish" and time wasted.
It is so unlike the previous friends that we used to have around us, as these days, talking about friendships, no matter how good the friendships look like or sounds like, but at the end of the day, it is just not worth a friendship at all. One that you can just easily passed by or laid off. There is nothing in these friendships that can be compared to mine good old friends, whom I call them as mine "comforting" friends. You won't be surprise to know that some of them were even my childhood friends and college mates whom we still keep in touch till to these days. That shows how strong our friendships were and is still growing and going stronger.
Unfortunately, nowadays, there is no more sincerity in a "true friendship." I'll put it as "conditional friendships" which one expect you to buy them things or foot the bills whenever they help you out not even with sincerity at heart. No doubt I was brought up in a way that we must appreciate and remember the gratitude of those people who helped us but I believe that there is a limit to everything. Well, just too bad, people tends to take advantage of it whether realizing it or not.
Now, back to this group of "so-called friends." We have built the friendships through introduction from one to the other. It was a good start at first, as supposedly like everything and everyone was new, so it was much of a courtesy to be nice to one another. Basically, we have known one another for about 2 years now and I thought might last.
After knowing for few months, one of the girls showed her enthusiasm of helping me as I was having some problems with transportations, so she offered me and of course I took up the offer without much hesitation. I thought that she offered her help with some sincerity but no. Anyway, she did helped me out on transportation problems few times. I on the other hand did not realize that it was all a show after all. Unfortunately, there is no "award" for this act. Too bad for her, isn't it ? Otherwise, I would be glad to vote for her for her best act. Of course, if you are wondering whether I did do my part of gratitude towards her, definitely YES. I am a strong believer that no matter how small or big the help comes or given to me, I must repay in full.
Then, slowly her attitude changed drastically and has affected few of us including me. At first, we did not realize but I already got the instinct that our friendships will be finished very soon. The final straw came when she got attracted to the guy next door. Of course, we are all not one that get jealous easily of her so-called new found love affair. She started with giving all of us the cold shoulders, then followed by walking away from us whenever few of us got together chit chatting and gossiping. Well, you know the normal girls do.
Somehow, it really got so bad that I have to walk away from her attitude. Out of the blues, I received her smses which was at least 2 pages long which sounded so cheap self-pitied. In the contents, of course, she did not apologize but expect her actions to be spelled out which puts me off even further.
Look, we are adults and we do not need to be told of our actions. In my mind, she was supposed to know her own actions, right or wrong. Why not, just come right up and admit the mistakes so we will all forget about the whole issue ?? Well, to be very frank her message was not even sincere.
Since then, I have avoided such friendships. Well, it is better off without her and them as a whole.
It is so unlike the previous friends that we used to have around us, as these days, talking about friendships, no matter how good the friendships look like or sounds like, but at the end of the day, it is just not worth a friendship at all. One that you can just easily passed by or laid off. There is nothing in these friendships that can be compared to mine good old friends, whom I call them as mine "comforting" friends. You won't be surprise to know that some of them were even my childhood friends and college mates whom we still keep in touch till to these days. That shows how strong our friendships were and is still growing and going stronger.
Unfortunately, nowadays, there is no more sincerity in a "true friendship." I'll put it as "conditional friendships" which one expect you to buy them things or foot the bills whenever they help you out not even with sincerity at heart. No doubt I was brought up in a way that we must appreciate and remember the gratitude of those people who helped us but I believe that there is a limit to everything. Well, just too bad, people tends to take advantage of it whether realizing it or not.
Now, back to this group of "so-called friends." We have built the friendships through introduction from one to the other. It was a good start at first, as supposedly like everything and everyone was new, so it was much of a courtesy to be nice to one another. Basically, we have known one another for about 2 years now and I thought might last.
After knowing for few months, one of the girls showed her enthusiasm of helping me as I was having some problems with transportations, so she offered me and of course I took up the offer without much hesitation. I thought that she offered her help with some sincerity but no. Anyway, she did helped me out on transportation problems few times. I on the other hand did not realize that it was all a show after all. Unfortunately, there is no "award" for this act. Too bad for her, isn't it ? Otherwise, I would be glad to vote for her for her best act. Of course, if you are wondering whether I did do my part of gratitude towards her, definitely YES. I am a strong believer that no matter how small or big the help comes or given to me, I must repay in full.
Then, slowly her attitude changed drastically and has affected few of us including me. At first, we did not realize but I already got the instinct that our friendships will be finished very soon. The final straw came when she got attracted to the guy next door. Of course, we are all not one that get jealous easily of her so-called new found love affair. She started with giving all of us the cold shoulders, then followed by walking away from us whenever few of us got together chit chatting and gossiping. Well, you know the normal girls do.
Somehow, it really got so bad that I have to walk away from her attitude. Out of the blues, I received her smses which was at least 2 pages long which sounded so cheap self-pitied. In the contents, of course, she did not apologize but expect her actions to be spelled out which puts me off even further.
Look, we are adults and we do not need to be told of our actions. In my mind, she was supposed to know her own actions, right or wrong. Why not, just come right up and admit the mistakes so we will all forget about the whole issue ?? Well, to be very frank her message was not even sincere.
Since then, I have avoided such friendships. Well, it is better off without her and them as a whole.
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